But chaps, I have cake waiting for me back at the palace! |
ECONOMIC BUBBLEGUM: RANT
ANOTHER KIWI WORLD FIRST
Reuters - In a world first, New Zealand supermarkets are allowing shoppers to offset their grocery costs by giving blood at the checkout. In conjunction with the NZ Blood Service, shoppers can now pay for groceries via checkout machines that accept not only cash and eftpos transactions, but can extract up to a litre of blood as well.
Foodstuffs NZ spokesperson, Ralph Bleedemdry said that the new service was both fast and safe; 'all our blood enabled checkout operators have received the relevant medical training. Shoppers are quite safe and many say they don't even feel it'. In response to reports of shoppers appearing pale and shaking after payment, Bleedemdry pointed out that this was quite normal even before the new service had been rolled out.
Supermarkets to offer a new payment option at the checkout |
Asked if this might lead to two tiers of shoppers with the prospect of greater price rises for non-blood donating shoppers, Bleedemdry rejected the premise saying that the extraction of blood was purely discretionary. 'We don't want to force anyone to give blood - that would be inhumane. But we will be offering higher discounts to loyal long-term donators with the prospect of becoming a VIB'.
In addition to blood, Woolworths NZ are reportedly considering the donation of small samples of flesh at the checkout, for use in scientific research. Quantities up to 0.45kg, or one pound in weight, would be accepted. Spokesperson Margery Blodfromstone refused to comment however, shouting 'they know!', before slamming the phone down on our reporter.